Humor Vainglory News 1

UPDATE 1.15 REVIEW: STUPID LASER FOX HIDE LIKE BABY

Today’s guest author hopefully needs no introduction. However, we’re going to introduce him anyways. Broken Myth’s newest guest author is the one and only SAW (AKA VaingloriousSAW on Twitter and Reddit). Today, SAW shares his thoughts on Vainglory Update 1.15. We hope you enjoy his insightful reactions and speculations!

SAW HAVE INFORMED OPINIONS ABOUT NEW CHANGE TO GAME. EVERYTHING HERE CORRECT.

SAW THOUGHTS ON NEW SKIN

GLOW CHEST SAD DAD SKIN

TONY STARK RUN OUT OF PAINT FOR PATHETIC ROBO SUIT SO JUST PUT LAVENDER VAN DE GRAFF GENERATOR IN CENTER AND CALL IT DAY. BIG METAL FIST SUPPOSED TO BE SCARY? WHY OTHER ARM EXPOSED? SAW SHOOT THAT ONE OFF FIRST AND BEAT SAD DAD WITH IT. ROCKETS ON BACK LOOK LIKE SPOILER TACKED ONTO MAZDA THAT HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT DO DONUTS IN WHITE CASTLE PARKING LOT.

SAW GIVE TWO OUT OF INFINITY BULLETS.

PIGTAIL SPACE PRINCESS

SAW THINK CUTE. HOW OLD IS SPACE PRINCESS? SAW WORRY ABOUT THAT LATER. KETTLEBELL SHOULDER PADS MAKE GIRL LOOK STRONG AND TALL. SAW WONDER HOW LONG TAKE BRUSH HAIR LIKE THAT WHAT KIND CONDITIONER USE FOR LUSTER. SAW GET DIZZY LOOKING AT MINI SPACE IN WALKING STICK AND THROW UP A LITTLE BUT SWALLOW IT.

SAW GIVE EIGHTY-SEVEN OUT OF INFINITY BULLETS.

CYBORG FOX IN TATTERED DUSTER

MASK LOOK TOO MUCH LIKE SAW MASK SO SAW HATE. EXCEPT STOLE KANO’S SHINY EYE. KANO VERY UNDERRATED IN ORIGINAL MORTAL KOMBAT BUT DISAPPOINTING IN MOVIE GET KILLED BY BLOND THIGH CRUSH GIRL. BOX FOX HIDE UNDER ROBOT NOW BUT SAW NOT CARE WHAT HIDE UNDER. SAW SHOOT ANYWAY. WHY COST SO MUCH FOR BOX FOX THAT DIE ANYWAY?

SAW GIVE ELEVEN OUT OF INFINITY BULLETS.

SAW THOUGHTS ON META CHANGE

TURRET DIE GIVE LESS RESPAWN DISCOUNT

GOOD. SAW PUSH WITHOUT PUNY INTERFERENCE. SAW SUGGEST IMPROVEMENT: TURRET DIE MAKE RESPAWN EVEN SLOWER.

SAW GIVE THIS CHANGE SEVEN OUT OF TEN GREEK TRIANGLE.

JUNGLE MONSTERS DAMAGE CHANGE

THERE IS JUNGLE? THIS NEWS TO SAW.

SAW GIVE THIS CHANGE ONE OUT OF TEN GREEK TRIANGLE.

SAW REACTIONS TO BALANCE CHANGE

OLE SWORD CHEST

DECAYED WHINER GET MORE POWER SO CAN RUN FROM BUSH AND TRY GANK SAW. BUT NO MORE GET ATTACK SPEED SLOW SO SAW SHOOT JUST AS MUCH AND STOP FROM STAB GHOST SWORD IN HEAD. AS FAR AS SAW CONCERNED ONLY WEAKNESS STACK IS TOO MANY PANCAKE WITHOUT PROPER SYRUP AMOUNT. SAW GIVE STUPID ZOMBEE EVEN MORE FLESH WOUND.

SAW GIVE SIX OUT OF TEN SEESAW.

AMOEBA DOGGIE

APPARENTLY ABILITY NOW DAMAGE SPONTANEOUS GENERATED DOGGIES BUT THIS ONLY MATTER FOR WEAKLING LIKE STAR GIRL AND PINK FLY GLOB. SAW STILL SHOOT THEM IN FACE.

SAW GIVE FIVE OUT OF TEN SEESAW.

FLOWER SQUIRREL

SAW NO LIKE. LITTLE BITE-BITES NOW HARDER FOR SAW KILL. SAW LIKED BETTER WHEN PETAL EASY SOURCE OF ONION FOR GUACAMOLE. NOW MUNION MAKE SAW SHED BITTER TEARS WHEN SHOOT THEM.

SAW GIVE TWO OUT OF TEN SEESAW.

DJ SPAMMER

BLOND BOY HAVE MORE NERFS THAN SPOILED RICH KID DOWN STREET FROM SAW CHILDHOOD THAT KEEP MAKE SAW PICK UP HIS DARTS. SAW GET REAL GUN AT AGE FIVE AND RICH BOY SUFFER PLAYDATE PTSD. BLOND BOY MAKE LESS NOISE NOW EXCEPT WHEN SCREAM WHEN DIE TO SAW. WHO SILENCE WHO NOW????

SAW GIVE EIGHT OUT OF TEN SEESAW.

BOOZEY HALF MAN

OOOOOOOOOH BIG SHOT WITH TINY GUN NOT SO TOUGH NOW HUH? WHERE YOU GO HALF MAN? SAW NO SEE YOU IN RANKED SO MUCH ANYMORE. NOW HALF MAN ACTUALLY HAVE KEEP TRACK OF ENERGY LIKE EVERYONE ELSE AND SO RUN AWAY AND HIDE IN BOTTLE.

SAW GIVE NINE OUT OF TEN SEESAW.

CAT CLAWS BOOTY SHORTS

RABID CAT GET LESS SPIN STACK NOW BUT SAW HAVE JUST AS MANY SPIN STACK AS BEFORE. APPARENTLY NOW SHE NO LONGER STACK UP AGAINST COMPETITION. SEE WHAT SAW DID? THAT WAS PUN. SAW MAKE PUN.

SAW GIVE EIGHT OUT OF TEN SEESAW.

ELDERLY MAN

SAW NEVER SEEN THIS PERSON BEFORE. HE APPEAR TO BE LOST.

SAW WITHHOLD SEESAW FROM STRANGER.

CLAN OF CAVE BEAR FEATURED EXTRA

SAW HAPPY ANGRY WOMAN WITH AXES GET STRONGER. SAW ALWAYS FELT LIKE SAW HAD CHEMISTRY WHEN SHE SPIN AROUND AND SAW SHOOT AND SHE SPIN AND SAW SHOOT AND SHE SPIN AND SAW SHOOT UNTIL ONE OR BOTH DIE. SAW WONDER IF SHE HAVE BOYFRIEND OR SUBSERVIENT LOVE SLAVE.

SAW GIVE TEN OUT OF TEN SEESAW.

SCALY MAN FISH

SAW LIKE WHEN PULL CLOSER SO SAW SHOOT. SAW THINK ANCHOR IS GUN OF AQUATIC TOOLS USED TO KEEP SEACRAFT STATIONARY.

SAW GIVE EIGHT OUT OF TEN SEESAW.

POKEY NOT-GUN GIRL

THIS BAD CALL. TRAPS FOR COWARDS THAT NOT WANT SHOW ENEMY THEY COMING TO KILL. SAW NOT CARE HOW MANY TRAP POINTY EARS USES, SAW STILL PUSH BECAUSE NOTHING TRAP FLYING BULLETS. EXCEPT MAGICIANS WITH THEIR TEETH.

SAW GIVE NEGATIVE FIFTY SEESAW.

BOX FOX

WHO CARE?

SAW GIVE MOST INDIFFERENT SEESAW IN SEESAW COLLECTION.

BURN FLY SLUG

SLUG NOW HAVE MORE FIRE WHEN BREATHE FIRE. TOO BAD FIRE NO MELT GUN.

SAW GIVE THREE OUT OF TEN SEESAW.

AIRHEAD BRAID GIRL

SHE NOW STUN MORE OFTEN BUT SAW STILL SHOOT HER UNDER TEN SECOND SO SAW NO CARE.

SAW GIVE FOUR OUT OF TEN SEESAW.

BRAGGY MONKEY BOY

THIS SEEM UNDERWHELMING.

SAW GIVE VERY SMALL SEESAW.

GODLY HALF MAN

SAW SEE HIS HEAL NUMBER CHANGED BUT SAW ONLY GOOD ENOUGH AT MATH TO COUNT TURRET SO UNSURE WHAT TO THINK AND IF BIG CHANGE OR NOT.

SAW GIVE X + Y OUT OF TEN SEESAW.

SAW

DEFENSE CHANGE? NO ONE CARE ABOUT DEFENSE.

SAW GIVE TWO OUT OF TEN SEESAW.

ICE SWORD THING

SAW NO LIKE COLD THING. IN MISSION COMMANDER ALWAYS SAY “STAY FROSTY” BUT THINK THIS ITEM TAKE THAT TOO LITERAL.

SAW GIVE SEVEN OUT OF TEN SEESAW.

SAW REACT TO RANDOM CHANGE

SURVEY

FIVE STARS WHEN SAW IN GAME. TEN STARS WHEN TWO SAWS. UNLESS SAW LOSE WHEN OBVIOUSLY NOT SAW FAULT BECAUSE NOOB TEAMMATE DIDNT ACKNOWLEDGE SAW ? PING EVEN THOUGH SAW USE LIBERALLY AND WITHOUT DISCRETION.

SAW GIVE TEN OUT OF FIVE STAR.

FINAL THOUGHT

SAW EXCITED FOR NEW META AS FRESH AS GOLDFISH PLUCKED RIGHT OUT OF FRIEND’S AQUARIUM. MEANWHILE NOTHING CHANGE FOR SAW BECAUSE SAW ALWAYS PUSH.

ALSO IF YOU HAVE QUESTION FOR SAW PLEASE READ SAW AMA FIRST. MANY QUESTION ANSWER HERE.

Gadianton

An entire lobe of Gadianton's brain is dedicated to Vainglory analysis, even causing the firing of his synapses to sound akin to ? pings. This heightened evolution allows him to breakdown gameplay to its juicy core and suck all the statistics out. He then takes that knowledge-enriched nectar and spits it into your mouth like a momma bird. Your ELO is rising already, you just don't know it yet.

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