Rare Phone Transcript From Stormguard Emergency Medical Center

Operator: S.E.M.C. what’s your emergency?

Caller: Some guy just got his arm ripped off.

Operator: Excuse me?

Caller: His arm, lady. His whole churning arm!

Operator: Is he still alive?

Caller: Yes, he’s sitting right here.

Operator: He shouldn’t be sitting up, lay him down and put pressure on the wound.

Caller: Ok, hang on. Hey buddy, they said you should be laying down.

Inaudible muttering

Caller: He said when he’s done with his whiskey.

Operator(Sigh): Is the assailant still there?

Caller: Yea, he’s drinking too.

Operator: Can you describe him?

Caller: He’s a Grangor, gray, big cloth over his eyes…

Operator: He’s a what?

Caller: Grangor.

Operator: Is that a religious thing?

Caller: You know, a big cat person.

Operator: He owns a lot of cats?

Caller: No, he is a cat.

Operator: Oh he thinks he’s people! I have a little guy like that. Sometimes he sits in a chair during dinner and so I give him a plate and silverware and–

Caller: Is there someone else I could talk to?

Operator: I’m the only one here. They all went to a call about some kid yelling into minions mouths so loud they blew up.

Caller: Churn, what do I then?

Operator: Well, is the arm intact?

Caller: Yea, it’s on the table.

Operator: You need to put it on ice.

Caller: How much ice should I put in the box?

Operator: 479.

Caller: Mother churner, ok….

Caller puts phone down. Banging, yelling and growling is heard

Caller: Can’t. The Grangor is keeping it.

Operator: The cat is keeping the arm.

Caller: As a trophy.

Operator: Can you take it by force?

Caller (delirious laughter): No way, lady. That guy is way OP. Just come when you can, these two are getting the dice out again. I’m gonna watch.


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