Humor 1

Triumph of the Vain

Come brave, come quick, come ye bold

To test your mettle inside the Fold

Across the states it caused a racket

To creep along up this tempting bracket

Over one hundred teams clamored in

Knowing only one could win

Skills and items meticulously spec’d

Bring on the noobs to get ye wrecked

Infusions early, mid and late

Because after all, this is patch 1.8

Mighty warriors all shapes and size

Hunger for that sweet cash prize

Many teams fall, yet others move on

The dust at last settles, around Ardent and Von

Match one creates a fine first impression

Both teams showing early aggression

But before any soul can reach the Vain

They must first show dominance in the lane

Here a goddess and dragon rage

Their fights written in history, each turret a page

Ardent uses their push to make a calculated decision

They will control the jungle with total Wision

Von battles back but soon they’ve learned

In favor of the Alliance the tides have turned

No longer shy, for the Vain they race

Securing with gusto Ace after Ace

Into enemy territory, with Kraken in tow

Ardent fights on, though their health is low

The rain of damage from Von begins to pour

Yet Kraken secures the win with his dying roar


Game two begins, a new laner Ardent locks

Now Celeste must face her smooth brother Vox

Yet down below, where danger hides

The tricky man-fox Taka has switched sides

Assassin tactics and Stormguard stun

So quick the ferocious warrior Glaive is done

Von capitalizes on every bungle

And soon have total control of the jungle

Just when Ardent thinks the gold will shine

A handful of scout traps explode at the mine

A brief AFK and then they’re back

Alliance hoping to pick up the slack

Inch by inch they forward march

Celeste’s robes grow stiff, too much starch?

Nay, the builds are now near complete

And seasoned warriors become useless meat

Turrets cannot protect, as soon they learn

The power of a well executed Afterburn

Vox dodges Solar Storms as if they were pith

And melts his sibling with Broken Myth

Meanwhile the immortal Adagio maintains control

As Ardent’s assault at last takes its toll

The second fight is finished, no arguments capiche?

Such is the power of the mighty Vox Micshe


The third time around, Von holds steady

The early comp keeps them at the ready

A ban of Adagio, leaves Fortress support

Wolf must watch his team fall, back home he ports

The dragon burns, the blonde child bleeds

Ardent struggles as Von now feeds

The championship was within their grasp

But only a death rattle do they now rasp

Beaten back at every bush and creep

Ardent is shoved into their base, afraid to peep

Yet, the lead of Von births apprehension

Like a bow you can feel the tension

As Ardent farms within their base

Closing the gap and picking up the pace

At last Von ends the minion feast

A brutal clash leaving only the canine beast

The next few moments are beyond imagination

The comeback train finally leaves the station

Alliance rocks their opponents with every tool

Such cool precision should be against the rules

Unleash the Kraken, this is the final hour

Valiant Von witnesses their enemies’ power

They shatter the crystal, scream in defiance

We are victorious, Ardent Alliance!



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