In a desperate attempt to improve his popularity amongst the Vainglory player community, Ardan enlisted Personal Image Consultants of Halcyon and The Greater Gythian Area Inc. What transpired was a four-month journey of self-exploration and exploitation that resulted in a pilot episode for a weekly drama series staring Ardan as a hard-nosed wildcard that will protect the innocent no matter how many bystanders get hurt. Other members of the Fold were cast as supporting characters to improve star power, but no one showed up to film, not even his own children. No one, except the one that wanted to get back out there and touch the people again. Thus was conceived the first, and only, episode of “Crossing Vanguard”.
CHIEF’S OFFICE- DAYTIME
The Chief sits behind his desk with a stern look on his face. Ardan sits in one chair, with his feet up on another, with an even sterner look because he’s not about to be told who’s the boss around here.
Chief– Churn-it Sergeant you gotta do something about this!
Ardan– I am. (extremely heavy sigh) I am.
Chief– You can’t keep telling me that. I need results!
Ardan– You want results? I got your results right here!
Ardan holds up a file.
Chief– Isn’t that the office Birthday card for Stacy?
Ardan– I got every churning signature.
Chief– Great, thank you. But I’m really concerned right now with this motorcycle gang that’s been terrorizing…
Ardan (in a low, menacing tone)- Travis called in sick with a real bad stomach flu, so I had to go to his house. He was so sick he couldn’t come to the door, so I had to boost myself up through his kitchen window he left open. I knocked his toaster off the counter and it broke, but I’m a reasonable guy and I’m gonna reimburse him. He was so frail and dehydrated he couldn’t hold the pen, so I gave him my last health pot I was saving for a rainy day, you know, in case I get ganked after saving my laner. He had barely enough strength to sign while I cradled his sweaty head before passing out again, but not before puking right into my coolant vent and causing my suit to overheat and burn my thigh a little.
Ardan pulls back the weird skirt thing that he wears, revealing a quarter sized blister on his upper thigh and some singed leg hair.
Ardan– How’s this for results!?!
Chief– You’re dismissed.
Ardan– Suck it! (flips the Chief’s desk and storms out)
Chief– Hey, that’s mahogany…